A magic potion called Jan Lokpal

A magic potion called Jan Lokpal

A cure to all disease, a remedy to all your problems has finally arrived. No it is not “Sandhi Sudha” as claimed by a leading (really?) Bollywood actor it is called Jan Lokpal.

Want true democracy? Just support the Jan Lokpal movement!!

True democracy has finally arrived in the form of Jan Lokpal; of the people, by the people and for the people (not in any particular order). The people may be a small group who like to be called as an activist/protestant (not by religion but by nature) and by chance or luck are also the Time, People of the year. A word of advice to Egyptians, Syrians and many mores, don’t just gather on squares and make them famous, sit on a fast, an indefinite one is best choice, because it is definite that it would be broken. You can even fast on a Wall Street.

Want to get married? Just support the Jan Lokpal movement!!

All the mothers wanting  their kid(who is now a full grown adult) to get married, happy news for you, Jan Lokpal is now the new marriage bureau, why not, the chief protagonist has urged the youth to get married, produce children (have babies a better choice of words?) and make them revolutionaries, so probably 20 years down the line, India in school essays can finally be referred as a land of revolutionist, “India is a land of festivals” can finally go on a vacation.

Want to get slim? Just support the Jan Lokpal movement!!

Jan Lokpal is also the new fab diet course, they call on for fasts more quickly than you can imagine. The government currently in power seems in no mood to heed to the Jan Lokpal so you can be pretty sure that you would be fasting for a long time.  The next government which hopefully would not be the same as the current one would require some time, first to gather themselves and then to make amendments in the version of previous governments. So there you got a strict diet plan for next couple of years.

Want to become famous? Just support the Jan Lokpal movement!!

Sure shot way to become famous in jiffy, Jan Lokpal is “the” word.  With all the news channels, newspapers, magazines, media houses devoting so much time on Jan Lokpal, it has surely become easy to get famous, you can do any one of the following:

  • Write a blog about Jan Lokpal
  • Spam your friends timelines on Facebook and twitter with Jan Lokpal messages
  • Wear a Gandhi cap and announce you are not you but someone else.  People think it’s hot
  • Organize a candlelight vigil, rally, fast in your society campus for showing your support to the Jan Lokpal movement

Want to slam ministers? Just support the Jan Lokpal movement!!

If you are tired of this government, if you do not like any of the ministers for whatever reason, if you want to hurl abuses at ministers (including the prime minister), you can do so under the banner of Jan Lokpal, the government is so afraid of Jan Lokpal movement that it will not take any action against you. Yes even if you call them chor(thieves), puppets, remote control or the famous “kaan katega”. You are untouchable (in the right sense, not meant to hurt any caste based sentiments).  No need to get worried or angry about the proposition of bill to curtain your freedom of speech. Say anything, even hurting, derogatory comments under the Jan Lokpal banner and get away with it.

Want to earn money? Just support the Jan Lokpal movement!!

Apparently it cost around Rupees 1000 per head for the recent Anti-Corruption movement in Bengaluru.

The event’s expenses as mentioned in Deccan Chronicle are as:

  1. Rupees 6 Lakhs: cost to Team A ( I wonder what cost it is)
  2. Rupees 1.7 Lakhs: for publicity ( I didn’t knew they pay news channel money to air it)
  3. Rupees 1.65 Lakhs: for sound system ( system is too sound)
  4. Rupees 1.12 Lakhs: for stage and tent

I always wonder how the cost is always a round figure, and what happens to money that is lost or gained in rounding of the figures? You see how all costs are conveniently in Lakhs, you can earn some money probably by travelling in economy class and claiming for business class.

Where does this money come from? It is all in the form of donations.  Just ask for some money for the Jan Lokpal movement and you will get it. No questions asked.  And yes probably form a NGO that is not funded by the government and you would be out of purview of even the Jan Lokpal.

 

Money, Marriage, Children, Fame, freedom of speech, democracy, is there any other problem left out, let me know and we will find a cure for it using Jan Lokpal.

P.S: The Jan Lokpal magic potion is patented to me. Any illegal use, copyright infringement will be prosecuted.

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